You Could Be A Politician

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here is how you can tell if you've
got what it takes to be a politician.

If you believe the best way to protect freedom of speech is to shut up
all those who disagree with you, you could be a politician.

If you believe that the best government comes from the top down, you
could be a politician.

If you believe it helps the working American to take up to over half of
their earnings in Federal income taxes, State income taxes, FICA taxes,
medicare taxes, property taxes, sales taxes, car registration fees, etc., etc.,
etc., away from their families, so that you can decide who needs that money
more than their families do, you could be a politician.

If you believe the ends justify the means, you could be a politician.

If you believe words are best used to hide your intentions, you could be
a politician.

If you believe that voters think that being for a "comprehensive solution"
to a problem is anything more than telling them that, (1) not only are you not
going to do anything about the problem, but (2) you're giving them the
finger as well, then you've got what it takes to be a politician.

If you believe in "social justice" more than in individual rights under the
law, you could be a politician.

If you believe in "Rules for Radicals" over the Golden Rule, you're well
on your way to becoming a politician.

If you believe that winning elections is more important than personal
integrity, you could be a politician.

If you think that its a good idea to overtax at the federal level in order to
get money you can use to "give" back to the states, in order to gain control
over the states, you're well on your way to becoming a politician.

If you don't believe in Religion, but you believe government should enforce
morality, you could be a politician.

If you believe in your heart of hearts that an elite, much more intelligent,
educated population has the right to decide how the rest of the population
should live, even while publicly proclaiming your love for "working-class
Americans" and individual freedoms, you've shown enough capacity for
hypocrisy to qualify as a politician any time now.

If your mouth says you represent the everyday people of America, but your
hands spend all their time in the pockets of lobbyists and on the asses of
your constituents, you already are a politician.

If you have more in common with the political rivals across the aisle that
you "fight" with, than you have in common with the voters you are supposed
to represent, you qualify for the proud title of capital "P" Politician.